Season One Nitpicks
by Takaehiko
Summary: This is the stuff my friends (JewelValentine and PenPusherM) found funny, amusing, or wondered about, about a few seasons of Yugioh... Please Read and Review (It's just really funny, please don't take offense to anything here.)


Jessica's (JewelValentine) Comments/ Questions  
  
Angie's (Takaehiko9683) Comments/Questions  
  
Mallory's (PenpusherM) Comments/Questions  
  
Things that we simultaniously agree on wondering.  
  
Okay, never mind, the different colors aren't working.  
  
NOTE: If you wish to add a comment, please review, and I shall put it up as a second chapter. Also remember that this was written in the beginning of the Kiaba tournament, so it doesn't have much from that season, or the aything from next one. but if you want to leave comments, I will post them with your name, etc. all that great stuff..  
  
*When the eye mark glows on Yugi's head, why doesn't he get a headache?  
That's unnatural, unnerving, and unfair, all at the same time.  
*Why is there a chime sound when the mark appears on Yugi's head?  
*Since there's a guy yelling "Yu~Gi~Oh" every time Yugi transformed, and  
the scene goes black and a seriously swirly wind kicks up, why doesn't  
anyone notice this?  
^ Does it take actual time or is it just a hallucination in Yugi's mind?  
*Just who is the weirdo yelling "Yu~Gi~Oh" whenever he morphs?  
*How come nobody notices when Yugi transforms that he grows feet taller  
and he goes through puberty in like, 5 seconds?  
*Since Yami is taller than Yugi (and this has been determined) why do  
Yugi's clothes still fit him?  
^ I mean, Egyptian magic can only go so far, am I right?  
*Does Yami have any say on what clothes Yugi picks/wears? I mean, he  
wears the same clothes as Yugi even when he's just a transparent freaky  
ghost spirit thingy-ma-bob.  
*If he does have a say in clothes, who educated him in dress sense? I am  
dead sure it was not customary for Egyptian Pharaohs to wear something  
like that! Come to think of it, its not customary for normal people to  
wear something like that either, so who educated Yugi on dress sense/was  
he taught period? (No, that's a question mark. (?))  
*Why are Yami's pants also his shoes? That's just weird. And more than  
slightly unnerving to see.  
*In summaries of previous episodes, how is Yami able to levitate cards  
and speak without moving his lips/mouth at the same time?  
*How is it possible for Yugi's hair to not only maintain shape while he  
sleeps, but also remain completely untangled and unbrushed? Once again,  
Egyptian magic can only go so far!  
*How is it possible for Yugi/Yami to come up with a new strategy each  
time he duels?  
^ How many freakish monsters can he summon out of that deck?  
*How many cans of hairspray/gel does Yugi use each morning for his hair  
to stay in that shape?  
^ How does Yami get lightning bolts to stick up each time he transforms  
without touching the hair?  
*Is it possible for Tristan to open a can with his hair?  
*Why is it that no one's hair ever gets messed up, except for Te`a and  
Joey, who have (probably deliberate and always constant) alfalfa?  
*How do Kaiba's holographic duel discs know shat the monsters SMELL like?  
  
*Exactly how drunk is Pegasus? He's always sipping a very full glass of  
wine!! Is he drinking Pretty Colors?  
^Angie remarks: Is that why his nickname is Peggy Sue?  
*How do the Paradox Brothers know what the other is saying and  
simultaneously come up with a counter rhyme?  
*Why does Bakura, a HIGH SCHOOL KID, have WHITE hair!!??  
^Angie and Susan and Bakura simultaneously remark: Because white hair is  
sexy.  
*Does Yugi ever change clothes in Duelest Kingdom?  
^Jessica remarks: He even slept in the same outfit! And if the writers  
say its because no one would recognize him, like you could ever miss the  
hair!  
^^Mallory: Grrr.. no starry pajamas. *Why is it that every time Bakura's  
evil spirit ring of power is chucked out, the evil spirit comes BACK!?  
*When do these people go to school? There is no way possible for all  
these adventures to take place over one summer.  
*How does the Dark Mage get his hair to fan out like that?  
*Why is it that all of these people are single? (Except Pegasus but even  
his wife died!)  
*Can Yugi or Yami sing? Have either one of them ever tried to sing?  
*Major Question: Why hasn't Interview Lady gotten around to mentally  
destroying these people?  
*Question posed/copied by/from Snowflake the attack Toko: Why do the  
heroes always win just because they're good even though the villains  
always have a completely foolproof plan?!  
*Continued from 4 Questions up: How does an EGYPTIAN PHARAOH manage, of  
all people, to stay single?  
*How much does Yugi's hair weigh? With gel, volumizer, hairspray, and of  
course, hair, you'd think he'd be a little bit top heavy!  
^ What fraction of the hair does his head/brain weigh?  
*Who is the poor, misguided person fool had time to come up with this  
cartoon?  
*How can Mokuba tackle three people at once? He's like 4 feet tall and  
has negative muscle!  
*Why is Kaiba's cape always billowing?  
^ Is it from a constant stream of foul air?  
^ Is that why he's always P.O.ed?  
*Why is Kaiba competing in his own tournament?  
^ What a loser, I mean, really, how low can you stoop is you have to lure  
challengers to you with a tournament? It's all one big downward spiral.  
*Just how small is Kaiba's head? I mean, his hair takes up like ¾ of it,  
so he has this smashed looking face.  
*If you chucked a rock a Yugi, and it hit his hair, would the rock break  
or bounce off?  
*(To some previous question) If Yami shrunk suddenly, would his clothes  
stay the same size, resulting in little Yugi wearing a T-Shirt that's  
more like a dress?  
*Did Mokuba start out as a girl?  
^ Is the person who plays his voice actually a girl?  
*How is it an honor that Kaiba designed that virtual reality princess  
after Mokuba?  
^Jezyca note: Great, now he's a powderpuff princess too?  
*How do Weevil's glasses glow like that?  
^ Does he use AAA batteries?  
*How come none of them have parents?  
*Does anyone ever get a haircut?  
*Is Yugi's hair partially held up by static electricity?  
*Does Yugi/Yami have 6 fingers?  
^ If not, how does he hold up the cards so well?  
*Why doesn't Yami have wrinkles from glaring at people?  
*Why doesn't Yugi have wrinkles from Yami glaring at people?  
*Why do Te`a's eyes shine?  
*Did Tristan go through puberty halfway through the show? 'Cause his  
voice changed halfway through the cartoon!  
*Does Grandpa have a first name?  
^Jezyca Note: Yes! I found it.. somewhere. Its: Solomon.. I think.  
  
^Angie's Note: Jessica can't even spell her own name.  
*How come Te`a spouts nothing but sap?  
*Why is the show so predictable? A main character duels. The opponent  
thinks they're gonna win, the "hero" wins and spouts a long morale speech  
about "trusting in the heart of the cards" etc.Sometimes it seems like  
all of them are going a bit Te`a-ish.  
^Jezyca Note: (Gee, 2 in one page!) Not true!! There was that one time..  
Ummmmmmm.... OK, totally true.  
*If Pegasus calls Yugi, "Yugi-boy," does he call Mai, "Mai-girl"?  
*Mai Valentine. How lame is that?  
*Does Mai ever wear a bra?  
*Does Pegasus ever get a haircut?  
*If the gang went bungee jumping, would their hair get caught in the  
rocks?  
*What country is Joey from? His accent is atrocious!  
*How come Yugi suddenly brings out a new monster every game?  
*Why does Grandpa sweep the ground outside his shop? Isn't the ground  
made of dirt??!!  
*What happened to Yugi's parents?  
*Who doesn't have their own theme song? Mai = My Girl. Yugi =  
...Ummm.Yeah. Pegasus = Face Up, Face Down. Te`a = Sap Song (what else?)  
Joey = Friends Song etc.  
*Do the characters change their names to fit their decks? (i.e.: Bones =  
Zombie Deck. Rex Raptor = Dinosaurs. Mai Valentine = (oxymoron) Harpy  
Ladies etc.)  
*If Kaiba and Mokuba were adopted how could Kaiba have been working on  
his game thing for years?  
*What happened to the Kaiba brothers' first and second set of parents?  
*How old is Kaiba? I mean he has his own blimp, helicopter, company,  
house mansion, but no car..  
Is he old enough to drive? Wait, he has a chauffer, so it doesn't really  
matter.  
*How come there aren't any Asian, African American, Native American,  
JAPANESE, etc., people on the show? They're all white!!  
*Why does Pegasus have the same haircut as a kid as he does "now"? You  
can't be tasteless your whole life!!  
^Jessica's Note: He was hopeful of being tasteless his whole life? He  
kept growing his hair out!!!!  
*If they never get haircuts how does their hair stay the same length?  
Yugi/Yami Says: You've written 6 ¼ complaint pages!! OPEN YOUR MIND!!!!  
Why isn't it WORKING??!! The evil is TOO POWERFUL for even me to defeat!!  
  
Te`a: You can do it Yugi!! We believe in you!!  
  
Yugi/Yami: That only works the first 100 times!! You're overextending the  
limit, Te`a!  
  
Te`a: I will always believe in you!!  
  
Joey: Te`a, shut up! Just once, shut up and quit spilling sap!! It  
doesn't help anyone!!  
  
Tristan: Joey said something intelligent. I'm quite impressed.  
  
BACK TO COMMENTS/QUESTIONS:  
*Where is Domino City?  
*Do Te`a and Tristan have a "thing?"  
  
*Does Tristan's school allow trench coats?  
*Where does Pegasus get his funding?  
*Where is this Island of his?  
*After the tournament, what is the Duelest Kingdom used for?  
*Does Mako Tsunami own a shirt?  
*How does Mako get fish in the city?  
*How can Te`a inspire herself if she can't inspire anyone else?  
*When they get their tattoos (friendship mark) why a smiley face?  
^ Why not a motorcycle?  
^ Or a rose?  
^ Or the Elvish symbol for 4?  
^Angie note: Duh! Te`a drew it!  
*Why does Tristan have a motorcycle?  
*How come when Tristan takes his helmet off, his hair is still perfectly  
pointed? After all, the helmet fits his head snugly.  
*Is Yugi a boxer, brief, Hanes, or a thong guy?  
Joey?  
Tristan?  
Pegasus?  
Mokuba?  
Kaiba?  
Does Kaiba even wear underwear?  
Yami?  
What about Te`a?  
(We all know Mai is the last one.)  
*How does Kaiba jump off a cliff and yet live?  
*(Comment:) Kaiba's ghost is high.  
*What's with the pointy hair on the guard? You can't insult him without  
dissing Tristan, too.  
*Where did all the black lines on Kaiba's ghost's/evil spirit's face come  
from?  
*The sweat drops on Yami's head are white and don't move! That's  
unnatural.  
*Kaiba's computer has an accent? And an attitude? (Problem?)  
*Pegasus's satellite crashes in California!! Isn't this a JAPANESE  
cartoon?  
^ And on an island?  
*Yami's math skills are retained through out his thousands of years  
without practice? (1 out of 4 = 25% - Magical hats) Like the opponent  
couldn't figure that out!  
*If Kaiba's ghost has no pupils, how does he see?  
*Who is higher? Kaiba's ghost or (drum roll) Kaiba?  
*If Kaiba's ghost gets high, does Kaiba, too? (No wonder they're both so  
stoned.)  
*Is Mokuba a pokemon in disguise? (Same voice: Tara Jayne)  
*Where did he (Yugi) get fluorescent pink dye?  
*Since he dyed his black hair blond, wouldn't it eventually turn gray  
from mixing colors?  
*Was the hair originally blond, black, or pink?  
*Why does the root color never show?  
^ Wouldn't it grow out?  
^ How would he dye his hair? It's all pointy!!  
*If there was something on a high shelf that Yugi wanted would he spear  
it with his hair?  
^ Or would he make Yami get it?  
*Does Yugi (little) use a high chair at restaurants?  
*Has Yugi been a goody-goody all his life?  
*How is it that he's a freshman??!! Did he get moved up once his lips  
were surgically removed from all his teachers' butts? (Well you gotta  
wonder why he has no lips, right?) How old is he really?  
*Does Yami help Yugi on tests?  
^ Or on his homework?  
  
^Yugi Says: Well, it doesn't work too well in school, because the  
teachers are actually observant enough to notice that I grow 3 feet when  
they ask me a question when I've fallen asleep.. Unlike my friends, they  
don't notice the first time I become taller than them...But that's not  
the point.  
  
*Could any of them ever even get a haircut? With all that gel, hairspray,  
etc., would the scissors even cut it?  
*What would cut through Yugi's hair?  
A saw?  
A chisel and hammer?  
A jackhammer?  
A plane fan?  
*If we threw a spear at his head, would it have the same effect as a rock  
or would it get stuck like a dart in a dartboard? (See previous question  
on previous page.) Or would it disappear, never to be seen again? Who  
knows what else is in there?  
*To two questions above: What about Joey? Tristan?  
*Would Tristan's hair cut Yugi's?  
*Is Tristan related to the guard Kimo?  
*If Yami gets a girlfriend does Yugi also get a girlfriend?  
*Why when Yugi transforms does he have a look of pain on his face? Is  
transforming painful?  
*Why does Kaiba have conversations with a pissy computer?  
*Can Yugi dance?  
*Can Yami dance?  
*Where did Te`a learn to dance?  
*Can Joey dance?  
*Can Tristan dance?  
*Can Mokuba dance?  
*Can Kaiba dance?  
*Where did Kaiba learn to laugh evilly?  
*Can Pegasus dance?  
*Can/could Cecilia dance?  
*When Cecilia dies, does a pink flower come to take her away?  
*Can the guard dance?  
*Is Serenity a good dancer?  
*Can Grandpa dance?  
*Can Yugi imitate Yami's voice?  
*Can Yugi and Yami dance together?  
*Is it roomy inside the Millennium puzzle? *Are there poofy cushions  
inside the Millennium puzzle?  
*Is it roomy inside the Millennium Ring?  
*Is there a school for teaching people how to laugh evilly?  
*Since Cecilia died does she now dance with the devil? Is she cheating on  
Pegasus? (Ya know, "A Date With Fate" and Pegasus, "A Date With Destiny."  
  
*Since Grandpa was the same age when he dueled Arthur Hawkins, why isn't  
he older now? Does he live outside the rift of time?  
*Thought: Kaiba doing ballet. Ouch.  
*Does Yugi wear purple contacts?  
*Why are there so many doors in Yugi's mind?  
*Does Yugi/Yami wear a bra? Ya gotta wonder what's behind all dem doors..  
*Can Yami laugh evilly? Enthusiastically?  
*Can Yugi laugh evilly?  
*Would the Miracle Blade Perfection Series III cut through Yugi's hair?  
^Angie is obsessed with the above mentioned knives.  
  
*If Yugi grew a beard..  
-What color would it be?  
-Would it be as hard and pointy as his hair?  
-Would he also have mustache?  
-Would it make him look taller or shorter?  
-If the beard dragged on the floor, would it scratch the floor?  
-Could Yugi plow a field that way?  
-Would it also have blond lightning streaks in it?  
-If he tried to shave, would the razor break, or slip and cut his nose?  
-Is that why his nose is already so pointy?  
-Would he have sideburns?  
-Could he use it as a weapon?  
-Could he use it to eat?  
-Would it look like his hair only upside down?  
-Would he resemble a lion?  
-Would he be able to see his cards?  
-Would he impale himself upon looking down?  
-If someone tried to kiss him, would they die?  
-Could he be heard through his beard?  
-Could he store things inside of there? IF he did, would he ever find  
them again?  
-Would Yami also have to grow a beard?  
-Would he tip over? With all that hair he's got to be getting a little  
top heavy.  
-Would all his normal hair fall out?  
^Angie's Note: You can only have so much hair on your head!  
^Jessica's Note: Not possible. It's completely cemented in by hair gel.  
-If his hair fell out, would it all come out in one piece?  
-Would he be mistaken for a woman?  
-How would he get dressed?  
-Would he even wear a shirt? If so, how would he get it around his beard?  
-What would happen to the millennium puzzle?  
-Would they have to re-design the dueling arenas?  
-With all those hair care products gelling his hair straight  
up/diagonally/sideways, will he die from the fumes before he turns 20?  
^ Or will the chemicals leak into his brain and kill him before then?  
-How much does that hairdo cost to maintain per year?  
-Where does Yugi get all this money?  
^-Did Yami lead Yugi to the pyramids so they wouldn't go broke?  
-Would he begin to attract female porcupines?  
-Would he accept the female porcupines?  
-Would Mr. Nguyen have a heart attack upon meeting Yugi/Yami, or whip out  
his trusty pocket level, and begin to level his hair?  
  
*Could Te`a grow a beard?  
*If Mai grew a beard, would she finally be properly covered?  
*If Te`a grew said beard, would she attract other females?  
^Note: No, she's too ugly.  
*What does Yugi's pillow look like?  
*Does it resemble Swiss cheese?  
*Was Yugi born with his hair like that?  
*Can Yugi play the piano?  
^ Why does he have piano fingers?  
*Does Yugi play an instrument?  
^ If so, which one?  
*Why doesn't Yugi have armpit hair?  
^ Does he shave?  
^ Would it be pointy?  
^In Duelest Kingdom, wouldn't his armpit hair grow?  
*Could Yugi be a swimsuit model?  
*On Duelest Kingdom, where do they go pee?  
*Is Pegasus actually a girl?  
*What would happen if Yugi had a unibrow?  
*How come the only person with glasses is a geek (and evil)? (Weevil)  
*Weevil is evil, how gay is that?  
*Why does the chamber in Yugi's mind have so many little kid toys?  
There's something fishy about that!  
*How come no one ever gets minorly injured? Joey almost drowns, then gets  
beat up, then locked in a cave, but no one ever gets a hangnail?  
*Has anyone ever gotten a paper cut from playing duel monsters?  
*When Yugi was in the burning building, Joey touched the door handle, and  
it was hot, right? Later Joey finds a metal pipe inside and picks it up,  
shouldn't that have been hot, too?  
*~Pegasus~  
Hanes her way or Hanes his way?  
*Could Yugi use his beard as a pencil?  
*If Mai was formerly engaged, how old is she?  
*If she's like 20, and Joey is a freshman, isn't their relationship  
illegal?  
*How come there are only 2 girls, the sap and the "adult" powder puff  
girl?  
*Can't Yugi/Yami let evil take over the world just one time? Just for a  
little while? Please?  
*Why is Giai the Fierce Knight's horse PURPLE??  
*Why do they wear what seem to be their school clothes to Duelest  
Kingdom?  
*Since Tristan, Joey, and Yugi all play soccer, who currently has popped  
the most balls with their hair?  
*What would happen if you spilled water on the big expensive dueling  
arenas?  
^SPLASH! FIZZLE!  
^^Yugi: Wasn't me! It was the spirit! It provoked me!  
Yami: It's not fair that I can't punch him without hurting myself. Can I  
quickly inhabit someone else's body so I can hurt him several times over?  
Yugi: Go back to the millennium puzzle.  
Yami: (Retreats as pouting sounds are heard from the puzzle around Yugi's  
neck.)  
*Does Yugi like crayons? Especially sparkly Blue Crayons? Pink Ribbon?  
Yoga!? How about being a traveling noodle man? Blankets? Lighters?  
*Wraiths will please refrain from commenting.  
Mokuba: But it's my dream to become a traveling noodle man!.Or a yoga  
instructor!.Or a pilot!  
. Yugi: (Kicks Mokuba.) Shut up!  
Yami: Peace, little one.  
Yugi: What if I don't want to?!?!?!?!  
Yami: Settle down! Breathe in.. Breathe out  
................................................  
  
Yugi: (Turns blue)  
Yami: Keep breathing!!  
Yugi: (Gasps)  
  
*Is Yugi insane?  
*Has Yugi ever had anger management classes? 'Cuz; 1: You can only e the  
peacemaker for so long, and 2: He's always so like; be peaceful, resolve  
this without violence! Does he know from experience?  
*Why is Yugi so innocent? What is he hiding?  
*Is Yugi cheating? In all his duels he manages to always choose the right  
card!  
*Which Yugi is more insane?  
*Do they get couples counseling?  
*His "eye" is rainbow! Eep!!  
*Does Kaiba go to school?  
*Why is the Dark Magician Yugi's favorite card?  
*Yugi's favorite card can be turned into so many different things!  
Coincidence? I think not!  
*In a country song, Toby Keith sings, "I'd rather be sitting on a dock  
stealing kisses from Peggy Sue." Is this who Pegasus is cheating Cecilia  
for?  
*If Yami Egyptian, how can he read English letters/numbers? 


End file.
